How To Heal Self-Abandonment

Abandonment issues can be deeply rooted, often stemming from childhood traumas and experiences. As a professional clinical hypnotherapist and holistic life coach, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative hypnotherapy and holistic coaching can be in addressing these opportunities for growth.

Let’s explore this topic to find out more about what self-abandonment is and how alternative modalities can be helpful and complementary on the healing journey.

Understanding Self-Abandonment

A broken heart

When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor E. Frankl

Self-abandonment is a term that might sound complex, but at its core, it’s about the relationship we have with ourselves.

As a professional clinical hypnotherapist and holistic life coach, I’ve worked with countless individuals who’ve grappled with this issue.

Let’s delve deeper into understanding what self-abandonment truly means and how it impacts our lives.

At its simplest, self-abandonment is when we turn away from our own needs, feelings, and desires. It’s like ignoring a close friend when they’re trying to tell you something important.

Imagine constantly pushing away your feelings or not listening to what your heart truly wants.

That’s what happens when we abandon ourselves.

There are many reasons people abandon themselves, but often, it stems from past experiences. Maybe as a child, you were told your feelings weren’t valid or were taught to always put others first.

Over time, these lessons can lead to a pattern where you neglect your own needs and emotions.

When we don’t listen to ourselves, it can lead to feelings of emptiness, loneliness, and even depression.

It’s like being in a room full of people but feeling utterly alone because you’re not connected to your true self.

Ignoring our emotional needs can also have physical consequences. Some people might experience headaches, stomach issues, or even chronic pain.

Our bodies have a way of telling us when something’s not right, and these physical symptoms can be a sign that we’re neglecting our emotional well-being.

Root Causes Of Abandonment Issues

Woman looking at her reflection

Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.

Robert Holden

Childhood plays a pivotal role in shaping our adult lives. Those who’ve experienced neglect, high-stress environments, or trauma during their formative years are more likely to face abandonment issues in their adult lives but this is not always the case.

Abandonment doesn’t always mean being physically left behind.

Often, it’s an emotional state where an individual feels deserted, unloved, or not cared for.

Childhood is a crucial phase where our foundational beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are formed. Experiences during these formative years play a significant role in shaping our adult lives.

If a child grows up in an environment where they constantly feel overlooked, unimportant, or even rejected, they carry these feelings into their adult relationships.

This could manifest in various ways, such as difficulty trusting others, fear of getting close to someone, or even pushing people away before they get a chance to leave.

Past traumas also play a pivotal role in abandonment issues.

Traumatic events, such as the loss of a loved one, a painful breakup, or being betrayed by someone trusted, can intensify feelings of abandonment.

These events can reinforce the belief that one is destined to be left behind or that they don’t deserve lasting relationships.

But it’s not just past traumas. Sometimes, societal pressures and expectations can lead to feelings of abandonment.

Living in a society that values independence and self-reliance can make individuals feel isolated, especially if they’re going through challenges.

The fear of being judged or not fitting in can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and abandonment.

It is essential to understand that the root causes of abandonment feelings don’t always stem from traumatic events.

In many cases, subtle experiences, often overlooked or deemed insignificant, can lead to these feelings.

For instance, growing up in a household where open communication wasn’t encouraged can make an individual feel unheard or unimportant.

Similarly, being constantly overshadowed by a sibling or not having one’s achievements acknowledged can instill feelings of inadequacy.

These seemingly minor experiences can accumulate over time, leading to a deep-seated feeling of being undervalued or easily replaceable.

It’s a testament to the fact that our emotional well-being is influenced by a myriad of experiences, both big and small. Recognizing and addressing these subtler experiences is just as crucial in the healing journey.

Recognizing Signs Of Attachment Issues

Resilient strong woman

The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.

Carl Jung

Awareness is the first step towards change.

Recognizing patterns in your relationships, emotional reactions, and even daily behaviors can provide insights into underlying seeds of abandonment.

Attachment is a deep emotional bond we form with others. It starts from the moment we’re born, influencing how we connect with our caregivers and later, with friends and partners.

But sometimes, due to various reasons, this attachment process gets disrupted, leading to attachment issues.

One of the most evident signs of attachment issues is anxiety in relationships. People with these issues might constantly worry about their loved ones leaving them.

This anxiety can make them overly clingy, always seeking validation and assurance.

They might frequently ask questions like, “Do you love me?” or “Are you mad at me?“, even when there’s no apparent reason for concern.

On the other end of the spectrum, some people might avoid getting close to anyone. They fear getting hurt, so they build walls around themselves.

They might avoid long-term relationships or even shy away from deep conversations, fearing vulnerability.

Jealousy and possessiveness are other signs. A person with attachment issues might feel threatened by their partner’s friends or colleagues.

They might get upset if their partner spends time with others, fearing they might be replaced.

Another sign is difficulty trusting others. Past betrayals or hurts can make it hard for them to believe that someone will genuinely care for them without ulterior motives.

They might always be on guard, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

People with attachment issues might also have low self-esteem. They might feel they’re not good enough or that they don’t deserve love.

This belief can make them settle for less in relationships or stay in unhealthy situations.

Recognizing these signs in oneself or in loved ones is crucial. But it’s equally important to remember that healing is possible.

With the right guidance and support, like hypnotherapy and holistic healing, one can address the root causes of these attachment issues.

They can learn to trust, love, and connect in a healthier, more fulfilling way.

Here’s a relevant article on hypnotherapy and abandonment issues.

It sheds light on the transformative power of hypnotherapy in addressing and healing from attachment and abandonment issues.

The Role Of The Inner Child

The concept of the inner child might sound a bit mystical, but it’s a crucial aspect of understanding our emotions and behaviors.

As a professional clinical hypnotherapist and holistic life coach, I’ve delved deep into the world of the inner child with many clients, helping them reconnect and heal with the part of themselves where this child lives.

Imagine a younger version of yourself, full of dreams, hopes, and sometimes, fears. This younger self, often referred to as the inner child, represents our childhood emotions, memories, and traumas.

Even as adults, this inner child continues to influence our decisions, reactions, and relationships.

For many, especially those with abandonment issues, the inner child might be holding onto past hurts and fears. Maybe as a child, you felt neglected, unloved, or even rejected.

These feelings, if not addressed, can carry into adulthood, affecting how you form relationships and perceive love.

You might find yourself constantly seeking validation or fearing that people will leave you, all because your inner child still feels that pain from the past.

But here’s the good news: recognizing and healing the inner child can lead to profound transformations.

By addressing those childhood wounds and seeing these from a new perspective, you can free yourself from patterns that no longer serve you.

You can build healthier relationships, trust more, and most importantly, love yourself deeply on a new level.

Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool in this journey. Through guided sessions, you can revisit those childhood memories, understand them, and offer comfort to your inner child.

It’s like giving that younger self the love and care they always deserved.

Holistic healing, focuses on the whole person. It’s not just about addressing the mind but also the body and spirit.

Techniques like meditation, energy work, and home practices such as journaling and art can help you connect with your inner child, offering a safe space for healing and growth.

For those interested in diving deeper into the world of the inner child and holistic healing, this article from Made With Lemons offers valuable insights.

It sheds light on various techniques and practices that can help you reconnect with and heal your inner child, leading to a more fulfilled and balanced life.

Remember, healing is a journey, and understanding the role of the inner child is a significant step in the right direction.

Overcoming Abandonment: Practical Steps

Healing is a journey, and while therapy provides the tools, daily practices cement the change.

From open communication and setting boundaries to mindfulness practices, meditation, and journaling, there are numerous ways to support your healing journey.

Let’s discuss some practical steps to overcome abandonment.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step in any healing journey is to recognize and accept your emotions. It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or even confused. These feelings are valid and often helpful indicators of where to begin. By acknowledging them, you’re taking the first step towards processing and eventually shifting them. What we resist, persists, so leaning into the feelings and seeing them from a new lens can help soften them and provide a new route for change.

2. Seek Professional Help: Sometimes, the weight of abandonment can be too heavy to bear alone. Seeking help from professionals, like therapists, hypnotists, life coaches, and energy healers, can provide you with the tools and strategies to navigate your emotions and provide a safe space for healing. Psychology Today has resources to qualified practitioners who can help you on this journey.

3. Reconnect with Your Inner Child: As we discussed earlier, our inner child holds onto past traumas. Techniques like hypnotherapy can help you address and heal these childhood wounds.

4. Practice Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate small victories and understand that setbacks are a part of the process. Mindful.org offers excellent resources on mindfulness and self-compassion practices.

5. Build Healthy Relationships: Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals can make a world of difference. They can offer a listening ear, provide comfort, and even share their experiences. Joining support groups, both online and offline, can be beneficial. Websites like Meetup can connect you with relevant groups in your area.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding abandonment and its effects can help you feel less isolated. There are numerous books and online resources that delve into this topic. PsychCentral is a reliable source for articles and studies on abandonment and related issues.

7. Consider Holistic Healing: Beyond traditional therapy, holistic healing approaches like energy work, meditation, and even yoga can be beneficial. These methods focus on healing the entire person – mind, body, and spirit. The National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists offer qualified hypnotherapists in your location that can help you on this path.

Remember, while abandonment can leave lasting marks, it doesn’t have to define you. With the right tools, support, and commitment, you can overcome its effects and lead a fulfilling, joyful life.

Every step you take brings you closer to healing and rediscovering your true self and feeling more aligned, connected and free.

“The soul usually knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss

Frequently Asked Questions

What is hypnotherapy?
Hypnotherapy is a therapeutic technique that uses hypnosis to access the subconscious mind, allowing for deep healing and transformation.

Think of this as a vast storage room where all your memories, beliefs, and experiences reside.

Sometimes, certain events or beliefs stored in this part of our mind can influence our behavior and emotions in ways we might not even be aware of.

During a hypnotherapy session, the therapist guides the individual into a relaxed and focused state, often referred to as a trance.

Contrary to some misconceptions, being in a trance doesn’t mean you’re asleep or unaware. Instead, it’s a bit like being deeply engrossed in a book or movie.

You’re still conscious, but your focus is turned inward, allowing you to tap into deeper parts of your mind.

Once in this state, the therapist can work with the individual to address specific issues or challenges.

For instance, for someone dealing with abandonment issues, hypnotherapy can help uncover past experiences or beliefs contributing to their current feelings.

By bringing these to the surface, the individual can then process and heal from them.

One of the beautiful things about hypnotherapy is its versatility. It can be used to address a wide range of issues, from anxiety and stress to phobias and even physical pain.

And for those curious about the science behind it, numerous studies, like those found on ScienceDirect, have shown the effectiveness of hypnotherapy in various therapeutic settings.

It’s also worth noting that hypnotherapy is a safe and natural process. You’re always in control, and a trained hypnotherapist ensures the environment is comfortable and secure.

The goal is always to empower the individual, helping them discover their inner strength and ability to heal.

What is holistic healing?
Holistic healing is a term you might have heard before, especially in the realm of alternative medicine and wellness.

This is an approach to health and wellness that considers the whole person — not just the physical body, but also the mind, spirit, and emotions.

It’s based on the belief that all these aspects of a person are interconnected, and to truly heal, one must address all these components.

Think of it like a puzzle; each piece is crucial to see the complete picture.

One of the primary principles of holistic healing is that every individual has innate healing powers.

This means that within each of us lies the ability to heal and recover, and holistic therapies aim to tap into this natural potential.

Instead of just treating specific symptoms or illnesses, holistic healing seeks to understand the root cause of the issue, be it emotional trauma, lifestyle choices, or even spiritual disconnect.

There are numerous methods and therapies that fall under the umbrella of holistic healing.

These can range from acupuncture, meditation, and yoga to more familiar practices like nutrition counseling and exercise.

And of course, there’s hypnotherapy, a powerful tool that can help individuals access their subconscious mind to address deep-seated beliefs and traumas.

It’s essential to understand that holistic healing is not about rejecting conventional medicine. Instead, it’s about complementing it.

Many individuals find that combining traditional medical treatments with holistic therapies offers them the most comprehensive path to wellness.

For those dealing with abandonment issues or any other emotional challenges, holistic healing can be especially beneficial.

It offers a space to explore and heal not just the emotional scars but also any physical or spiritual imbalances that might be connected.

The journey to healing is deeply personal, and holistic healing recognizes and honors this individual journey, offering a tailored approach to wellness.

In essence, holistic healing is about embracing a more comprehensive view of health and wellness.

It’s about understanding that our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are deeply interconnected and that to truly heal, we must consider all these facets.

Whether you’re exploring hypnotherapy, meditation, or any other holistic therapy, know that you’re taking a step towards a more integrated and complete form of healing.


Navigating the complexities of abandonment and its associated feelings can be a challenging journey. However, with the right tools and guidance, healing is within reach.

Hypnotherapy, as explored, stands out as a transformative approach, offering a bridge to the subconscious and unlocking the potential for profound change.

As a professional clinical hypnotherapist and holistic life coach, I’ve witnessed the power of this therapy in reshaping lives and mending emotional wounds.

Remember, every individual’s journey is unique, but with dedication, support, and the right therapeutic interventions, a brighter, more secure emotional future awaits.

Whether you’re exploring hypnotherapy or other holistic healing methods, the path to understanding and healing is a journey worth taking. I hope you enjoyed this article.

If you are interested in discovering more about how I can help you on this journey please reach out to me directly for support at groundedvisions4u@gmail.com.